Hawk's Dream - Random Fanfiction - :GIFT:

You cannot be serious…” Hawk heard herself say aloud, an expression of horror lit up on her face. What in the world was happening? Or better yet, how did this happen? “What you are trying to tell me is…”
“Yep! That’s right! All of you are now the official cast of Dangan Ronpa 3!” piped Monobear, who didn’t even bother to hide his apparent glee at this news. But it wasn’t the sort-of-endearing high-pitched voice of the original Monobear that was filling up Hawk’s ears. No, instead, it was the castrated-fair-announcer voice of the English-dubbed Monobear that grated against her eardrums, making her want to tear them apart with a salad fork instead of listening to this onslaught of torture.
Hawk was going to make a less-than-polite comment about what she thought of his voice, when, all of a sudden, a miserable voice cut her off. “Well…it’s official. I am dead.”
The familiarity of the voice caused Hawk to whirl her head around in shock. There was simply no way. “Ash?!”
Yes indeed, the tearful girl in front of her was her online friend, no doubt about it. Hawk almost decided to pinch herself to check if this was real, but not wanting to indulge in a cliché and hurt her poor skin, she avoided doing such an activity. Besides, it never helped in any other situation, so why bother at all?
Ash glanced up at her for a moment, before her eyes shot back to the floor as said, “Yes, it’s me.
“Damn Ash, you even cut me off in real life. Control yourself.” Hawk chided playfully, happy to see her friend, despite the situation. It was not every day you got to randomly see a friend out somewhere else and you had to enjoy it, even if you were trapped like rats in a killer school ran by a psychotic stuffed animal and a certain blonde she-demon who was basically the embodiment of all spoilers.
“Hey! I am here too!” another familiar voice piped up. “You freaking noticed Ash first before me?! Really Hawk, I am offended.”
Hawk swore her eyes almost bulged out of her head when she turned to see who had spoken. A shot of pure joy ricocheted across her whole body like a bunch of firecrackers as she shouted, “Simon! Is that really you?!”
“The one and only.” Simon said primly, a small smile (or was that a smirk?) lighting up on his face. Hawk immediately beamed up at him and tackled the raven-haired boy into a hug so tight an anaconda would be calling it a bit much.
“I am so happy to see you!” Hawk squealed giddily, pulling away to look at him and let him get a few wisps of oxygen back into his lungs. “But what in the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Canadaland munching on Kinder Eggs while we eat everything else over here in ‘Murica?”
At that, Simon’s ice-blue eyes narrowed in annoyance and he turned to make a glare at a now petrified-looking Ash. Hawk swore, she had seen less fear from a horror movie victim. Jutting a thumb towards Ash, Simon bitterly said, “Why don’t you ask Ms. Otaku-Nut over there?”
Ash flinched violently at Simon’s words, her body so stiff she seemed like a scared cat. Her hazel eyes were as wide as saucer dishes, her skin was covered with a thin sheen of sweat, and she cringed, as if the actual Simon Cowell had just mocked a performance she’d spent years and years trying to perfect. She looked like she was about two seconds away from suffering a panic attack.
Hawk knew from all the animated shows that she watched that anyone who looked like that was guilty of some kind of crime.
“Ash… what did you do?” Hawk asked slowly, starting to feel a bit nervous. “Why are we in this situation?”
Ash opened her mouth to speak, but English-dubbed Monobear immediately cut her off with a loud, raucous laugh. Whirling around to face him, Hawk heard the monochromatic bear explain, “Your friend the trapped you in a fanfiction, dear! That is what happened! Upupu~!”
It felt like a heavy stone had plunged into Hawk’s stomach as her mind tried to catch up with what her ears had just heard. First of all, that giggle English-dubbed Monobear just did was nowhere near as good as the original Monobear’s. And second of all…
“A… fanfiction…?” Hawk said slowly, as if someone had altered time to slow down.
“I didn’t realize the youth nowadays needed to be told to the clean the wax out of their ears. Yes, that is what I just said! And an honorable bear such as myself never tells a lie.” Monobear said, holding up a ‘Scouts Honor’ sign.
“What about Sakura’s-“ Hawk was about to refute Monobear’s statement, when the bear let out a squeal so loud that Hawk winced.
“Ah! Spoilers! Spoilers, you bastard! Those will not be spread here!” Monobear wailed, his red eye glowing ominously. Then, regaining his composure, Monobear cleared his throat and said, “Well, now that that is out of the way, I don’t think I need to say anything else. You all seem to know the rules and everything, so I am just going to save my breath and time. Have fun murdering one another. I am going to place bets that Ash will be the first to die since she brought you all here. Upupu! Despair away!!!”
And with that, Monobear leapt into a large podium to go to do Monobear-y things, leaving them all gaping.
“I vote stabbing her first!” said Simon, pulling out a knife seemingly out of nowhere in his pocket. How he kept what looked like a butcher’s cleaver knife in his pocket without stabbing through his leg was beyond Hawk, but it certainly was unexpected and terrifying. Besides her, she heard Ash make a noise that sounded like a scared gerbil.
“Simon! Shame on you. We can’t stab her!! She’s our friend!” Hawk clucked, making Simon begrudgingly slide the knife back. Turning to a now slightly relieved Ash, Hawk said, “Now Ash… what kind of fanfiction are we in?”
Ash blinked and said, “Uhhh…”
“Because if we happen to be in one of your fucking angst stories, then I am going to let Simon stab you… and make him let me have a few hacks myself. So tell me… what story are we in?” Hawk asked in a drawn out tone, her eyes wide, a manic smile stretched across her face. The Soul Eater characters had more sane expressions.
Ash flinched so violently, she fell over, immediately sputtering. “I- I… I don’t remember exactly what I was writing or know any of the schematics of how we found ourselves in a fanfiction, but I am judging by the descriptions of the earlier paragraphs that we are in what I thought was a comedy.”
“Never be a comedian, Ash.” Simon said dryly, doing a scarily accurate impression of Simon Cowell.
“Okay, that comforts me a little. But what are we going to do?! We are in a school where we have to kill one another. Comedies always end cleverly. What should we do to escape this?”
“Well… I don’t know about escaping but…” Ash said slowly, picking herself off the floor. “I brought in some people you might want to hang out with…”
“Oh my god… did you drag Frank and Paint in here too? Cayris?!” Hawk said in a horrified squeak, not particularly wanting to watch any of her good friends suffer a horrible fate.
“No, no, no. I brought…”
“Hey! Let’s host a party!”
Simon whirled around in shock, obviously recognizing the voice before Hawk did. Then a huge smile crossed the boy’s face as he shouted, “Twogami!!! And… oh my god… Togami and Ibuki! AHH!”
“Get away from me peasant! It’s bad enough we all got dragged back here.” Togami screeched, his lemon tendencies showing up.
“Oh cone on Togami! Have some fun!” Ibuki whooped happily, obviously not that fazed that she had gotten dragged back in such a dangerous situation.
Then, with the speed of Sonic the Hedgehog, he zoomed off to go and see his favorite characters.
“Then that means…” Hawk said slowly, looking at Ash with newfound happiness. And like a chorus of sort-of-annoying but endearing angels, a manic laughter shot through the air and Hawk saw with joy the familiar messy-hair boy she had fallen head-over-heels for.  And… was that. No… it couldn’t be true. But it was…
“Komaeda!!! Kirigiri! My children!” Hawk screamed as she lunged towards them, leaving Ash in the dust. She was about to leap up and tackle Komaeda into a hug like she did Simon. I mean, when else was she going to be able to hug her favorite anime boy? Komaeda opened his arms out like he was about to catch her… and time seemed to move in slow motion.
Hawk counted the seconds in her head, preparing for impact. Three… two… one…
And right when she was going to land, Hawk shot up in her bedroom, a look of horror crossing her face. The morning sun assaulted her eyes and made her want to impale them out and she could hear her Skype, which she must have forgotten to turn off last night bleeping insistently. A feeling of horror and woe shot through her chest.
No! Unfair! Unfair! Simon got to hug his anime boyfriends and girlfriends, and she didn’t! What kind of shit was that?
Launching upwards, she grabbed her laptop and scrolled over the Skype symbol. She saw that Ash had sent her a happy birthday message and was saying a whole bunch of cheesy messages along with it. But Hawk was too annoyed to read any of it. Instead, she simply typed up: “Ash, learn how to end your fucking fanfictions.”